THE IDEAL CANDIDATE
(for Left-Wing Utopians)
Greetings:
I thought I would take a moment to introduce you to a candidate who
is ideal for all the left-wing idealistic utopians out there. He
espouses practically all the values which mean so much to so many of
you. With candidates like him, it won't be long until the left will
finally gain the kind of state it has worked so hard to bring about.
Witness:
He is photogenic, he has been a paid model;
He has personal charisma and a commanding personal presence;
He is a powerful public speaker and orator;
He has been a dedicated tireless environmentalist, being
instrumental in protecting vast lands from development;
He has shown a dedication to protecting animal rights;
A strict vegetarian, he has promoted organic farming/gardening;
A non-smoker, he has promoted a campaign/ban against unhealthy
smoking;
Moderate in all his habits, he only occasionally has a single glass
of beer or wine with his meals;
He has worked tirelessly for the Children, visiting, sharing himself
with them, interacting, and the children have reported they like
him;
A believer in strong central government, he has spoken against
capitalist excesses, and supported a proletarian movement to
eliminate pockets of excess wealth among the bourgeoisie;
He has declared the Church to be too powerful, and worked to keep
its influence out of government;
He has promoted Social Security, government-mandated vacations,
unemployment insurance, and Socialized Medicine;
He has worked tirelessly for gun control to reduce crime;
He has demonstrated strong leadership abilities;
He was highly decorated as a war hero;
He has supported Science, the Arts and Culture, describing himself
as a "creator" (he has been a best-selling author);
He has pursued a program of "public investment" by government;
If you are a compassionate, progressive, forward-thinking liberal
who sincerely believes in the environment, animal rights, promoting
public health over smokers' rights, crime reduction through gun
control, a strong enough government to provide a social safety net
and social justice, government support of the Arts, and government
investment in the private sector, then please support our principled
leader and what he stands for-- Adolf Hitler. A man of the people.
(BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR-- YOU MAY GET IT)
Janice E. Terry
mailto:jetblast@gte.net
Janice E. Terry was nominated for an award in politicoeconomic
journalism with the Greated Los Angeles Press Club in 1977. She has
written paid editorials (conservative) for the Houston Post, and had
her own columns in local NASA-Area newspapers for more than two
years. She has recently been working as a Freelance Editor and Writer, writing copy for
Websites, and editing articles for Trade Magazines. Ms. Terry recently finished
a Technical Writing Contract with a NASA Contractor. I wrote a chapter
(Countermeasures) in the Space Biology and Medicine Series.
She has won the WWH (A Professional Humor Writers'
Organization) Short Humor and Very Short Humor Contests four times
in the last two years. She is the author of two (yet unpublished)
books, POLITICALLY INCORRECT SHORT TAKES (Fevered Glimpses Into The
American Dilemma); and THE SMOKERS' BOOK (A Book Of Aid And Comfort
For America's Most Oppressed Minority). She has been known to carry
a hatpin to prick the bubble of any authoritarian control-freak.
Ms. Terry is willing to relocate to the West Coast or a less humid climate. For resume or
more information:
Janice E. Terry
Rte 3 Box 630 #7,
San Leon, TX.
(281) 339-0982
mailto:jetblast@gte.net
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